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#7 I Love You

My dearest friends,

Indeed I've been slow at it but I think I have finally understood what it means to 'be the friend you want to have'. I have tried to live by that quote for so long as I believe it holds truth, but I want to live it out even more now.

I'm sorry in advance for the deepness of this post but today, I was hurt. I love my bestfriend. I mean of course I would, one does not simply just call someone their bestfriend. But also today, my bestfriend was hurt. I really wanted to know why and what it was that I could do to make her feel better but instead, neither did I get to know what the truth was nor the latter. And I guess, while I am happy and proud of her for doing this, it was also upsetting to see the fact that she went and told someone else what was wrong with her. I thought she trusts me.

She has always told me not to bottle up my feelings and that she's always there for me and that she loves me. Everything she has told me is held true from me to her as well. She somehow always manages to get things out of me no matter how pissy of a state i'm in, yet for some reason that talent of being lovingly manipulative is just not something i'm able to reciprocate. And that upsets me and makes me feel guilty. But I guess all I can do for now is to pray for her happiness to be restored. I am certain she'll pull through as she's done so time and time again #StrongWomen! I'm just hoping she will realise that she is never lower than my first choice.

I can't emphasise this enough but I would describe myself as being attentive to friendships. Again with the cliché, I truly treasure each and every one of my friendships and try to not take them for granted. Whether you reading this right now are a stranger or a friend, I'm always open for a chat.

Love you all,
Haynam X